
趁hmv減價﹐從貨架選上這一套我最喜愛的電影。
趁月尾缺糧待在家沒事做﹐拆掉封套在星期六早上重溫最愛。
或許「最愛」並不盡言﹐到底天下間好看的電影多若繁星﹐哪一部最愛哪一部第二最愛實在不好說。然而別人問我最喜歡的電影是啥﹐我總會首推這一部:不一樣的天空 (這個中文片名譯得好﹐是出自誰家的手筆?) ﹐然後加個註腳:或許不是「最喜愛」﹐卻是「最重要」的一部啟蒙電影。
都十年了﹐第一次是看明珠九三零﹐好些場景到現在仍歷歷在目:黃昏的草原泛紅﹐落入凡塵的天使問他的梦想是什麼﹐他反覆想了良久﹐說到底只想做個better person;快要十八歲的他老想登上全鎮最高的水塔﹐無非為比其他人看遠一些﹐闊一些;黎明來臨前﹐小屋與鯨魚媽媽在熊火裏燃燒﹐四兄妹默默無言﹐望著過去的枷鎖此刻正付之一炬。。。
電影的味道如此淡然平實﹐沒有聲嘶力竭﹐沒有聲淚俱下﹐但怎麼愈看愈教人戚然?
這是我記憶所及﹐首次見識到電影語言的魔力﹐我著迷了。
都說好看的電影內涵豐富﹐會伴隨著觀者閱歷的增長而添加層次。
今天重看一遍最愛結果感受更多。人愈大愈積聚滿身負累與枷鎖﹐蛻變卻往往在一念間發生。那些蛻變是無形的﹐在開初或者微不足道﹐需要勇氣來一把抓住。他找到了﹐卻想過放手﹐不是因為他勇氣不足﹐而是他拖著一身負累。我不禁想﹐要不是最後所有付之一炬﹐他還可有蛻變的机會? 電影因為虛構所以結果可以盡如人意般完滿﹐但回到現實該會是另一個故事吧。
無日無之的角力快完結﹐鯨魚媽媽臨終前說:u shimmer and glow.
人到死前的說話最動聽﹐也最坦白。這也是看電影上的課。
* * *
這歌與電影無關﹐卻演奏著與電影一般莫名的惆悵:
Red House Painters - Have You Forgotten
i can't let you be cause your beauty won't allow me
wrapped in white sheets like an angel from a bedtime story
shut out what they say cause your friends are fucked up anyway
and when they come around somehow they feel up and you feel down
when we were kids we hated things our parents did
we listened low to casey kasem's radio show
that's when friends were nice to think of them just makes you feel nice
the smell of grass in spring and october leaves cover everything
have you forgotten how to love yourself?
have you forgotten how to love yourself?
i can't believe all the good things that you do for me
sat back in a chair like a princess from a faraway place
nobody's nice when you're older your heart turns to ice
and shut out what they say they're too dumb to mean it anyway
when we were kids we hated things our sisters did
backyard summer pools and christmases were beautiful
and the sentiment of coloured mirrored ornaments
and the open drapes look out on frozen farmhouse landscapes
have you forgotten how to love yourself?
have you forgotten how to love yourself?